i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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