If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
