I need help removing her.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Two words: blizzard sex
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
