He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize