I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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