I look better un-naked...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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