I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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