i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize