OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
