This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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