kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
