Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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