and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
is it fun? or sober?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
