I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
