i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
