Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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