Fuck appropriateness.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
