I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
