Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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