I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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