I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
