I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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