Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
