i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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