I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
