why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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