i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize