i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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