I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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