I've blown a few things in my day
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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