the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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