lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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