He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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