I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
