bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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