All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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