Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
