I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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