I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
