CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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