you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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