Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
