Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
