I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize