What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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