no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
