He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize