It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
