My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
