My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I need moral support for this bender
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
