if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
