Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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