What did we do last night that was yellow?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I will pee on everything he values.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize