how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
