We need to start having sex underwater more often.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize