yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Vodka?
Forever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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