Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
