How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
