As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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