I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
