epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
