Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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