so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
