After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
