By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
