Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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