Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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