Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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