then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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