I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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