Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
