My cat gives me a boner
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
