Non-Jews are for practice
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Are my feet made of real feet?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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