sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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