I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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