Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
