I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
